NICU Day 2: Sunday Nov 7

I convinced James to go home last night and stay overnight with the kids. Our goal in all this chaos has always been, and will continue to be, to keep things feeling as "normal" as possible for Gracie and Jamin.

I got very very little sleep last night, maybe 2-3 hrs or so. I'm still having a lot of pain, which makes it difficult to sleep. And now I'm pumping every 3 hrs, even at night. Add in an overdose of fear and worry and you've got a recipe for sleep deprivation.

The lactation ladies came by again to see me this morning. We are now getting small amounts of colostrum, which we freeze and take upstairs to NICU. They will mix it in with the donated milk he is getting. I have rented a hospital-grade breast pump, so I can keep up my dairy farm routine at home.

Jonah is having a hard day. They had lowered the pressure on his CPAP overnight, from 7 Liters down to 6. Today he's had lots of retraction (where his chest caves in when he breathes), so they've increased it back up to 7 Liters.

He's also having a hard time digesting the 3 cc's of breast milk. He's having lots of "residuals", which is what they call the green icky stuff that comes up into the stomach and indicates that his little intestines are not digesting properly. So the nurses have been forced to hold (or skip) several of his feedings today. He is still getting 100% of his nutrition through the IV, so it's not like he's starving. It makes sense that his body does not know how to digest food, given that he's still supposed to be getting his nutrients from a placenta and umbilical cord right now.

He remains under the phototherapy lights, and his bruising has gotten a tiny bit lighter today.

My sister, parents, and Gracie came up to the hospital to visit me this morning. I don't think anyone really knew how to react when they saw Jonah laying there in his isolette. Gracie was just bubbling with excitement ... she talked about how cute he looked and how he was the teeniest baby she'd ever seen in her whole entire life. She was begging to hold him, of course, and doesn't seem to really get why no one is allowed to hold or cuddle him yet.

In other news, little Jonah finally got a middle name. It happened about 3 minutes before discharge, when the nurse was practically standing there staring at us waiting on the birth certificate. We couldn't put it off any longer. Since James agreed to the first name I had picked, I let him have full rights to the middle name. He picked Ryan. I was less than excited about it. But I bit my tongue, wrote it down, handed the birth certificate to our nurse, then got in the wheelchair and came home.

I was discharged around 5:00. Leaving the hospital without Jonah was hard. James was very emotional. I had to remind him (and myself) that this was different than the last time we left the hospital empty-handed, after Isaac was born. On the ride home we talked about how fortunate we were to be at Northside and to have my amazing team of doctors. Now Jonah has his own amazing team of doctors. This could be so much worse. I really feel like we've been lucky, as strange as that probably sounds.

We made a quick stop by Babies R Us on the way home for breastfeeding (pump) supplies. We were so confused because the time changed last night, so at first we thought they were closed. But just as we exited on Chapel Hill Road, James realized that the clock in the car was really an hour ahead now, so we had exactly 20 minutes to shop. Small victories.

When we got home, we were surprised by an impromptu "welcome home" party planned and executed by Gracie. (Tammy and Laura were home with her, they might've helped a little). We had Hello Kitty party hats, "It's a Boy!" balloons, and sparkly purple streamers. My friend Sherry had made a delicious lasagna dinner for us. It felt wonderful to come home to a hot homecooked meal. I had to exit the party a little early because my pain had really kicked back up again, but I loved it nonetheless.

Preserving the Journey

Well let me just start by saying that I am one lucky girl. I have been so fortunate to have TWO very talented photographers capture a few of my pregnancy moments. The resulting images tug at my heart strings and thrill my mind to know that a little piece of our journey will be preserved forever.

Andrea Vantrees is a photographer from Douglasville. She came to our home and photographed the whole family. She was so much fun! Here is a peek at the results:

Right now Andrea is working through the painstaking process of digitally removing the ugly tummy bruises from each picture. By the time she is done, no one should ever know about my love-hate relationship with Mr. Heparin.

Check out Andrea's website to see more: http://www.andivanphotography.com/index.php?splash=1

Big Sister

Up until now we have been very hesitant to share the baby news with Gracie. Primarily out of fear that something awful will go wrong and then we'll have to explain that to her. Not too long ago she named one of her stuffed animals "Cemetary", at which point I nearly lost it. No 4-year old should have to know so much about death. It bothers me immensely, but looking back on everything I know we handled it the best way we could under the circumstances. But hoping to spare her from any more tragedies, James and I have agreed to keep the pregnancy from her as long as possible.

Well today we ventured to the pumpkin patch with our friends, Sherry and Andy, and their two little ones. Their daughter, Malina, is best pals with Gracie ... they go to school and dance class together.

Poor Sherry is just two weeks shy of delivering her third bundle and looks like she wants to POP! I remain so impressed with her total mobility and her normal good spirits ... I can only pray I will be in such good shape when I'm nearing my own due date! As we arrived and began chatting, Sherry pulled me aside (out of earshot of Malina and Gracie), and tells me that she had been discussing my pregnancy with Malina. She had told Malina that yes Ms. Kristi has a baby in her tummy but you can't tell Gracie because she doesn't know yet. Malina responded that yes Gracie does know already .... earlier in the week Gracie told Malina "my mommy has a baby but don't tell anyone because it's a secret!".

I was stunned! I knew she was a perceptive little thing, but never in a million years thought she would figure it out on her own. Any time we have discussed the pregnancy in her presence we always spelled key words, like B-A-B-Y. Surely she's no spelling genius at age 4, but somehow she managed to figure it out nonethless. Adding to my amusement is her keen awareness that her mommy's pregnancy must be a secret because no one has announced it to her yet!

Once he learned that the cat is already out of the bag, James immediately wanted to tell her all about it. I was still hesitant, but relented. As we tucked her into bed tonight, James asked her "do you know what's inside Mommy's tummy?". Gracie's eyes widened significantly and a little smile curled the edge of her lips in anticipation. She said, "Noooo?". Then he told her, "there's a baby in there!". She immediately began SCREAMING and shouting and running in circles around her room. I had no idea a preschooler could get so excited about a sibling. I wish so badly that James had warned me he was about to spill the beans, so I could have videotaped it. Her reaction was truly priceless. After jumping and squeeling in excitement she immediately began pulling open all her dresser drawers and hurredly shouting instructions that we must go to Target and buy some diapers and baby pajamas. She then begged me to use the phone so she could call everyone and share the great news. We allowed her to call all her grandparents and both sets of Aunts. Each time she was screaming so loudly into the phone that no one could understand a word she said.

So tonight I go to bed with sticky fingers (from the pumpkin-carving of course), and a warm heart knowing that my little girl is going to make a fantastic sister.