7w0d

The lovenox shots started 5 days ago. I have made a vow not to complain, since we are blessed to be with child. So let me just say that I've *observed* these things hurt like MAD!

(See, not a complaint, just an observation)

Here, you can observe my bruises.

I'm thinking the bruises are simply a result of the fact that this stuff is made of gold or something. At least that's my assumption, since it cost almost $1200 for 30 injections. Thank God for our health insurance!!!

Currently I'm seeing Dr. Garcia every week, sometimes twice a week. I have my first appointment with Dr. Munjal (hemotologist) this week, and I'll see Dr. Mann (perinatologist) next week.

I'm still quite nervous about this whole thing, but trying very hard to remain hopeful. I've been at Dr. Garcia's office every few days to check my HcG and progesterone levels, so far they are really high! In fact we did a second ultrasound just to make sure it wasn't twins! That one really sent my brain for a loop during the few days we thought that could be a possibility, phew.

People keep asking me about my morning sickness, energy, blah blah blah ... the normal pregnancy stuff. Yes I feel like barf almost all the time. No I have no energy. But my mind is on such bigger issues that honestly all of that seems so trivial to me.

I would gladly barf every single day for 40 weeks if that's what was required for a healthy outcome.

Of course, if that's the case, then don't expect me to keep my vow about the complaining!

It's official

Safe to say my brain has been going a million miles an hour since Saturday.

And of course, being Labor Day weekend (which I have grown to despise since two years ago) ... today was the earliest chance to get into the doctor.

Four full days of obsessive Kristi-brain is not pleasant. That's all I will say about that.

But alas, Tuesday is here and we are officially pregnant. The joy and the fear is all so overwhelming, honestly I have not turned my brain off since I woke up Saturday morning. I have worried my way around every possibility and what type of mountain we could be facing. And my thoughts are so jumbled that I couldn't possibly put it all on paper if my life depended on it.

My emotions are an insane mess. No it's not the hormones. Well, maybe a tiny bit. But mostly its that today is Isaac's 2nd birthday. Quite a day to be all alone at the doctor (James was stuck at work), worrying and wondering about the fate of this new little one. The irony of it all will just slap ya in the face really.

So tonight we will go to the cemetery, and grieve for the child we lost, while we simultaneously rejoice that we now have another.

The whole thing is so mixed up I seriously can not wrap my brain around it.