Awesome News!!

Today was a big day. I got to shave my legs AND put on makeup AND dry my hair! WHEW, I know, stop the press, right? Well for me it was a big deal anyways. I actually felt somewhat like a normal person.

But wait .... my day got even better. Way better in fact. First of all, today marks 29weeks 0days. A huge victory! Second, I had my weekly check-in with Dr. Mann today (my perinatologist) and we got a fantastic report! I was actually super nervous leading up to this appointment, because I had the + Ffn test last week and my contractions have become progressively more painful and more frequent over the last three days especially. So I was practically holding my breath during the ultrasound today, to the point that I was laying there thinking, "well, at least my hospital bag is packed already". Once again my lack of faith was showing.

As it turned out, my cervix measured 2.5cm today! That's great compared to my previous measurements! And .... Jamin has gained a whole pound in the last three weeks. He's now up to 2lbs 14oz! Goodness I breathed such a huge sigh of relief.

Dr. Mann is still concerned about the contractions, so she gave me some oral terbutaline to take as needed since my insurance company is still denying the terbutaline pump. Her other gripe was my weight. Again. I'm telling you, she just really never seems to get past that. I have gained back about 2.5 of the 4lbs I had lost in the hospital .... thanks in part to the delicious chocolate cake that Mrs. Parmer baked me and the yellow iced cookies that Jerah brought! YUM. I tried to tell Dr. Mann that there was really no need to worry, because the Girl Scout down the street promised that my six boxes of cookies should be arriving by next Tuesday, and this means that five of them will be gone by Friday. But apparently she wasn't convinced.

So she's putting me on a special high-protein diet. She wants me to consume EIGHTY GRAMS of protein a day! I don't even know if that's humanly possible, I guess we'll find out. She wants me to accomplish this by drinking three protein shakes a day each containing at least 20grams, plus eating my normal three meals a day totaling 20 more grams. I told her I'm worried that the three shakes will fill me up and make it so I'm not hungry enough to eat three normal sized meals .... and she told me if I have to pick between a shake or a meal she wants me to drink the shake. I'm glad I asked b/c I probably would've done the opposite thinking it was the better choice.

So ... tomorrow James is heading out to GNC to do some protein shopping. I think it's too bad that I'm confined to bed, otherwise we could take advantage of this opportunity to pump me up and enter a bodybuilding contest. Wonder if they allow pregnant women to enter the competition? Hmm. Of course, my legs are in the beginning stages of muscle atrophy due to five weeks of constant laying, and I don't think they give out an award for "worst atrophy". Pooh. I could totally win that one.

Thank you to everyone who is saying prayers for us, clearly God is hearing and He is unfolding a miracle before our eyes! We are so grateful to have made it this far, and even more grateful that it appears we will be able to squeeze a few more weeks out of this pregnacy! God is good.

Happy Valentines Day!!

So it turns out that spending every moment of every day stuck in bed makes it pretty much to impossible to do any meaningful shopping for your Valentine. Sorry honey. This is the best I'm able to do under the circumstances.

TOP 5 REASONS I LOVE BEING JAMES' VALENTINE:

1. James always makes me laugh. Always. He has this knack for taking extremely scary or stressful moments and making an inappropriatly hilarious comment to break up the tension. For instance, if we're at the doctor's office waiting nervously for test results, he will complain that there's never anything to read at the OB other than "Modern Vagina" Magazine, or he'll start analyzing the breastfeeding poster. It's like his goal in life is to make me smile.

2. I never EVER worry that he will trade me in for a younger, hotter wife. Because somehow he still thinks I'm young and hot, and he tells me so all the time. I have no idea how he believes this to be true, but I'm just glad that's the way it is. He even thinks fat and pregnant is still sexy. Go figure.

3. He is insanely loyal and protective of his 4 girls. God help you if you try to mess with his wife, his daughter, his mama, or his baby sister. A ferocious torrent of carnage and destruction will be released upon you.

4. James is an awesome dad. He has learned the difference between Littlest Pet Shop and Puppy in My Pocket. He fully grasps the importance of owning a ballgown and tiara to match every princess, and he will gladly stand in line for over an hour to meet Ariel. He isn't afraid to be the only man in attendance at the Glass Slipper Ball. He lives to make us happy.

5. Through all the trials and obstacles we've faced in recent years, especially during the times when I am overcome with worry and fear, he always tells me, "We'll be alright". And 99% of the time, I think he actually believes it.

Honey, you are a fantastic husband and father and I love you dearly. I pray that Jamin inherits your soft heart and your strong mind. And your sense of humor. And your lips. And maybe not your legs ... ya know, for the boy's sake. But all the rest. I pray that one day he will grow up to love his mother as much as you love yours, and to love and care for his own wife the way that you do me. Of course, I will have to take her down and arm wrestle her for his affection .... but we have several years before we have to worry about that. Happy Valentine's Day!!

Gracie wanted to write a "Valen-time" too. I typed out exactly what she told me:

Dear Daddy,

Happy Valentime's Day. I love you. Will you be my valentime? When I grow up I want to marry you. We will live in a tall building in Big City. We will read magazines and play on the computer and eat macaroni for dinner every night.

Love, Gracie.

Grrrrrrr!!!

Why does it seem that every time we celebrate some good news, something crappy comes along to ruin the celebration? At 24 weeks, I was so thrilled to hit the milestone of "viability" and celebrated all the way to the doctors office ..... only to find my cervix was dangerously thin and I would be ordered on full bedrest.

A similar quandry occured earlier this week, when I oficially hit the 28-week mark on Wednesday. This was a major milestone for us, as the survival rate is over 90% at this gestation, and the risk of major long-term problems lowers significantly. Back during my second night in the hospital I had a sweet nurse named Emmie who grabbed my arm and said, "listen to me: you set your eyes on 28weeks and focus every bit of energy you have on that". Since that night I have been counting down the days until we got here.

So Wednesday morning, I woke up overjoyed and overwhelmed with gratitude that God carried us to week 28. A small number on the calendar, which likely seems insignificant to most pregnant women .... but to us reaching 28 was a gigantic miracle. Brandi picked Gracie up from school at noon, and then the three of us headed to my weekly OB appointment.

Dr. Garcia entered my exam room and immediately said, "28 weeks .... WHOO-HOOO!!!", and then proceeded to give me a high-five and a hug. Gosh I love my doctor. He then felt my cervix and reported, "feels about the same as last week" ..... thank you Lord! He also did another fetal fibronectin test, the results of which he promised would get to me within a few hours. My last Ffn test was about 2 1/2 weeks ago, and came back negative. A negative test means you have a 95% chance of NOT delivering within the next 14 days.

I had already made up my mind that today's test would be negative too .... after all, we're in this for the long haul. We have already mentally prepared ourselves for 8-10 more weeks of laying flat for 23.5 hours a day, babysitters, wheelchairs, injections, donated meals, and all the rest.

I was so confident in a negative result of this test, that I told Brandi on the way home from Northside we should have an ice cream party to celebrate my 28-week victory. Gracie thought this was a grand idea, of course, so once we got back to Douglasville we swung through Cold Stone and placed our to-go order. Brandi set up a little card table next to my bed, while Gracie gathered no less than ten of her stuffed animals to join the party. Together we all pigged out:

About five minutes into our celebration, right around the time that Gracie's face was coated in a nice even layer of chocolate and my own ice cream had that perfect 80% frozen / 20% melted consistency .... the phone rang. It was Dr. Garcia's nurse, Debbie. Now Debbie and I are on the phone at least 2-3 times a week because I've always got so much going on. I feel like we're pen-pals or something. We always joke that once this whole mess is over we're going to meet for some Starbucks.

The second I heard Debbie's voice, I knew something was wrong. She sounded nervous and upset. I said, "I hope you're calling with good news!"; to which she responded, "WELL ........."

My test came back positive.

My heart sank but I stayed calm and got all the relevant information from her. I hung up and sat here for a moment to let it sink in. Then I realized I would have to call James and tell him the news and my heart sank for a second time. I toyed with the idea of not telling him until he got home from work since I really didn't want to ruin his entire day, but Brandi convinced me that I needed to call him immediately and I knew she was right. I called and heard myself tell him in a very lighthearted manner that this didn't mean anything 100% .... the Ffn has false positives all the time .... we've made it to 28 weeks so we're past the super-scary point anyways .... and everything's going to be just fine.

I then spent the next three hours with Dr. Google trying to convince myself that all of that garbage I had just fed him was remotely true.

Unfortunately, Dr. Google can not tell me the exact accuracy of a positive Ffn test, because all the highly-esteemed "experts" and all the major studies have come to varying conclusions. I did learn that a most say your chances of delivering within 7 days is somewhere around 20%; within 14 days the percentage varied from 30% to 40% depending on who published the study. In my own experience with Gracie, I had a +Ffn at 32w5d; and she was born 16 days later.

Ever since receiving Wednesday's news, I've been trying super-hard to stay positive and resist the normal Kristi-response of freaking out. For the most part I have stayed quite calm, although I've had a few brief ocassions here and there where the fear rises up and I have a weepy moment. I decided that maybe I'd feel a little more prepared if I at least packed my hospital bag, so yesterday I made Brandi take me to Target (my first non-medical venture outside the house), to pick up hospital necessities like a travel toothbrush and 17 mega-paks of maxi pads. The trip was quite comical: me in a wheelchair with two shopping baskets in my lap, Brandi pushing me while trying to carry more items under her arm, and Gracie trying to force Brandi out of the way and whining that she wanted to push and/or ride the wheelchair herself. Sheesh, I wish I'd had the forethought to take a picture of *that* for the blog, we were quite a sight I'm sure!

So I've spent much of today trying to put together a pile of things for the hospital bag, and making several more phone calls to phone nurse Debbie, trying to work out insurance issues. My 40-foot-needle-toting home nurse, Sharon, came today for my weekly 17P injection, and informed me that Blue Cross/Blue Shield had denied Dr. Garcia's request to add continuous monitoring to my home care regimen. Last week he put in orders for Matria to set up a monitoring station in my bedroom .... the same toco monitors and fetal heart tone monitors they use in the hospital to assess your contractions and the baby's response to them. With the home system they are able to connect the monitor through your phone line, and it feeds the information to a nurse somewhere out in cyber-world, who reads your strip and pushes a big red panic button somewhere once she sees things getting problematic.

Apparently some dude in a suit at Blue Cross thinks that I must not really need this monitoring, because they've refused to pay for it. Maybe the suit-guy thinks Dr. Garcia is just out to get him. Or maybe he thinks he'd rather get another $10,000 bill from Northside Hospital than pay an amount 1/100th of that to cover my home monitoring. I don't know what the heck he's thinking quite frankly. But I'm extremely angry and frustrated today that once again a representative from my insurance company thinks that he knows more about what I need than my doctor does.

So Dr. Garcia's office is now fighting with Blue Cross on this matter .... however the monitoring was ordered by Dr. Garcia SEVEN DAYS AGO. Today is now Friday again, so the best we can hope for is to get some response from Blue Cross on Monday .... another three days away. In the meantime, I now have a +Ffn, time is ticking, and my hands are tied.

Geez, like I don't have enough to worry about at the moment?

I think I need to go re-read that scripture my friend, Heather, sent to me this morning. Where is it? Ah, yes, here, Philippians 4:6-7 ...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I'm trying. I really really am.

Don't hate me, but I just have to say it.

Today I am 27w6d pregnant. Today is my last chance to legally abort Jamin for any reason in the state of Georgia.

Yikes, what did she just say?

Yep. That's right. Go back and re-read it. Babies are legally aborted in the state of Georgia ... just a few miles down the road from you ... all the way up to 27w6d gestation FOR ANY REASON AT ALL. Beyond 27w6d, you must obtain a "health" exception, which is some places is as simple as declaring, "you know I sure am depressed about being pregnant". Georgia is not alone in this.

Seven states allow abortion for any reason at all up to week 24 (These are FL, MA, NV, NY, PA, RI, and SD). Again, later if you have an exception for "health".

Twenty-three states allow abortion for any reason at all up to "viability", which in the medical community is generally considered week 24. However in these states there is no specified gestational weeks defining "viability" for the purposes of obtaining an abortion, so the abortionist performing the deed is the one who will determine who is "viable" and who is not. (These are AL, AZ, AR, CA, CT, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, LA, ME, MD, MI, MO, NT, NE, ND, OK, TN, WA, WI, WY)

Five states allow abortion for any reason at all up to the third trimester, generally considered week 28. Note that this is well *after* the baby has reached viability. (These are GA, IA, SC, TX, VA)

And fifteen states allow abortion for any reason at all up to the time of natural birth ... there are NO gestational age limits in place whatsoever in AK, CO, DE, DC, HI, MN, MS, NH, NJ, NM, OH, OR, UT, VT, WV.

Statistically, the abortion industry's own reports admit that roughly 98% of all abortions are done for reasons of convenience. About 1.5% are for medical reasons (either health of mother or diagnosis of baby); and the remaining 0.5% are rape/incest.

Now all of you who know me already know that this is a subject I'm quite passionate about. I've never been afraid to openly share my opinions about things, but generally I do try to keep a lid on some of my political rantings so that people don't completely hate me. Whenever you talk about abortion, the room gets awfully tense and people super-uncomfortable. Turns out it's not a "feel good" kind of topic. Of course it shouldn't be. Dead babies is not something that should ever feel commonplace or comfortable.

Yet what most people don't realize ... because it's distressing and no one wants to think about it ... is that this is happening thousands of times a day all around you. In this country alone we slaughter roughly 1.2-1.4 MILLION babies a year. That's about 3,500 a day.

3,500 A DAY.

There's more Americans dying in abortion mills every day, than were killed on 9/11. More than all the US Soldiers who have died in Iraq since the war began.

But no one wants to discuss it. It's too stressful to think about, and any discussion of abortion brings up thoughts of feminists marching with signs and waiving red coathangers. Most people don't want to choose a "side" in this debate; they just want to not think about it. It's much more comfortable that way.

Well forgive me, but today the irony of my own situation has hit me once again and I'm using the opportunity to force all my readers (all 7 of you?!) to think about it.

Here I lay, in this miserable bed, for the umpteen-millionth day in a row, desperate to do anything I possibly can to hold on to Jamin a little longer and give him the best chance of survival. Should he be born tomorrow, when I officially reach week 28, his chance of survival outside the womb is over 90% and the risk of long-term problems stemming from his prematurity is low. But today, if I wanted him dead, I would simply need to pay a little visit to Dr. Malloy, Atlanta's notorious late-term abortionist.

I've actually had the displeasure of meeting Dr. Malloy ... in the fall of 2007 during the 40 Days for Life prayer vigil outside one of his clinics (yep, he has several). He walked up the sidewalk trying to disguise himself as a passer-by, then approached me asking who we were and what we were doing there. It was a divine appointment, apparently, since I recognized him immediately but the crowd around me did not. I played along though. I smiled and shook his hand (ewwww, the hand of death!), and told him who we were and that we were here on the sidewalk praying for an end to abortion. When I introduced myself and asked his name he pulled back, gave me a confused look, and asked, "what are you, a reporter or something?" (paranoid, much?). I smiled and told him, no of course not ... I'm just a stay at home mom who doesn't like that babies are being killed in my neighborhood. With that he quickly left. Maybe he expected a gift basket or something.

A few months later, in March 2008, Dr. Malloy killed one of his patients when he botched her post-6 months gestation abortion at Summit Medical Center. She died on the table, leaving behind three living children.

Let me just ask: did you hear a single blurb about this in the news last March? Ummm.... no.

But today, at 27w6d into my pregnancy, Dr. Malloy would gladly rip Jamin to pieces in exchange for about $2000. He would do this using a procedure called Dilation and Evacuation (or D&E for short). This consists of anesthetizing the mother, dilating her cervix, dismembering the baby with forceps, and pulling out the pieces one by one. The legs first, then each arm, then the trunk, and finally the head, which must be crushed prior to removal in order to fit through the cervix.

Now this human slaughter in exchange for money, today at 27w6d gestation, would be perfectly legal and protected ... in fact encouraged and celebrated by many in our country who insist that doing this is a mother's choice.

However, if while my way to see Dr. Malloy, I were mugged on the sidewalk outside of his clinic .... and beaten so badly that Jamin died as a result ... the mugger would be tried for homicide.

But all he did was save me $2000, right? Maybe I should send *him* the gift basket!

Listen, I hate to be the bearer of bad news ... the one who forces your brain to consider these atrocities and makes it difficult for you to enjoy your morning coffee and go about your day as normal. I'm not a weirdo, I'm not obsessed with death and gross things, I'm not a radical religious zealot, and no this is not a vast right-wing conspiracy. This is the truth. It is happening repeatedly all around us. But we close our eyes and choose not to see it because the reality of it is too overwhelming.

Today I am trying to poke open your eyelids just a tiny bit. Because this slaughter of children for profit will continue to happen ... in fact it will only worsen ... if we do nothing. The only way any of this will change is for people all across this country - REGULAR OL' PEOPLE like you - to get outraged.

It is said that the German citizens during WWII ... the regular folks who lived in towns surrounding the concentration camps ... they knew something awful was happening around them. They saw the train cars passing through their towns, carrying the Jews to the camps. They heard the screams. They saw the ash falling. Intrinsically they *knew*, that something horrific was being done. It is said that these Germans ... they closed their eyes and they went about their lives as best they could. They went to church and sang hymns and pretended there wasn't a human holocaust happenig outside their doors. And when the sounds of the cries began to permeate through the church walls, what did they do?

They sang a little louder.

You see, this is human nature. Horrors that are this atrocious .... they are so awful that it's just easier not to face them. This is just what we do when it comes to abortion. As a nation we intentionally keep ourselves ignorant. We change the channel when that commercial comes on at 2am, we remain uninformed of the laws and of the realities of what is happening in our neighborhoods, we leave the church the moment the pastor utters the "A" word, we make excuses, we even justify why sometimes it might be okay. We sing a little louder, and all the while - millions of babies are being killed just down the road.

Let me just be totally trasparent for a moment. I've been entrenched in pro-life ministry for three years now. I have sat and counseled countless women, both before and after an abortion decision. I've held their hands, I've cried with them. I've spent endless hours emailing with them and praying for them. And there's something you need to know: the reality is way more widespread and way more awful than you are imagining. Women are in desperate situations, and in the absense of any real help, they let their fear drive them to Dr. Malloy's doorstep (or the hundreds of doorsteps belonging to his competitors).

There was the woman I met last year, late 30's, who was 26 weeks pregnant and seeking a late-term abortion because the child she was carrying was not her husband's baby. She had somehow succeeded in hiding the pregnancy from her husband, hoping her boyfriend (father of the baby) would make good on his promises to leave *his* wife and make a family with her. Finally at 6months into the pregnancy the boyfriend admitted that he had no plans to leave his wife and told her she was basically on her own .... and now she's sitting in a room with me telling me how she must erase all the "evidence" of her infidelity or her husband will leave her too.

There was the woman I counseled online in 2006 who aborted her son after finding out at the 20-week ultrasound that she was carrying a boy. Apparently she only wanted girls. Yes people actually do that. We had a client at the PRC about 2 1/2 yrs ago who did the same (except she was keeping the boys and aborting the girls).

There was one woman I keenly remember from 2007 who was 23 weeks pregnant seeking an abortion because her husband told her to get rid of it. She sat in a counseling room with me, with her one-year-old sitting in her lap, telling me there was no other way to save her marriage. When I told her that a 24-week baby has a 50% chance of survival outside of the womb, she asked if I thought the doctor might just "take it out" for her next week.

There was a 15-year old girl who came in a few months back, who had successfully hidden her pregnancy from her parents for six months. At 25 weeks her mother discovered it, and literally dragged her into our office by her hair demanding to know the name and phone number of the nearest abortion clinic. Her daughter was crying and begging for the life of her baby. It was awful. The mother was shouting obsentities, and the daughter was screaming, "please don't make me do this, I want my baby to live" .... all in our waiting room. When we informed the mother that legally she can't force someone to abort against their wishes, she told us, "I'm her mother: watch me".

There was a girl in her late-20's from Pennsylvania I counseled online in the fall of 2007. She was 22weeks along but had just found out she was pregnant. She was seeking an abortion because she already had three kids, and the father of the baby was incarcerated. She couldn't afford a late-term abortion, so she found a pro-choice advocacy group in New York that agreed to pay for it and provide round-trip transportation and hotel for her to make the trip from PA to NY for the abortion. She jumped at the chance dispite my pleas. She completed day 1 of the procedure in NY (which consists of them inserting medication vaginally to dilate the cervix), went to the hotel and prepared to wait for day 2 (when they do the actual abortion). At the hotel she received a frantic call from home about a family emergency. So she unexpectedly had to drive back home to handle that, but made arrangements with the volunteer group to pick her back up the following day. As it turned out, her return ride never arrived and she got stuck in PA. She began vomiting and running a very high fever (signs of a septic infection), so she went to her nearby emergency room. They ended up admitting her to the Labor&Delivery unit, where she gave birth and literally came face-to-face with her "choice". The experience traumatized her. For weeks afterwards we continued to communicate, she told me she was drinking heavily just to get through the day and could no longer take care of her three living children. I encouraged her to seek help. A few days after that she cut off all communication with me. I have no idea what ever happened to her or her kids.

There are more .... I could go on all day but I'll spare you the heartache. This is the reality of abortion. These are the things that are happening every day all around us. And if President Obama has his way, it will only get worse. He has promised repeatedly that he will sign the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA), which will wipe out every single state law restricting abortion. Every state that has parental consent laws, waiting periods, informed consent laws ..... literally hundreds of state laws across the country .... gone with one sweep of his pen. Most notably, FOCA will overturn the ban on partial-birth abortion, making this particularly horrendous method of killing late-term babies once again commonplace. FOCA will also erase the gestational age restrictions in those 36 states I listed above which prohibit very late 2nd and 3rd trimester abortions for non-medical reasons. So we would no longer have the 27w6d time limit in Georgia .... or anywhere for that matter .... we would see babies legally aborted up to 40 weeks in every state simply because their mother did not want them. Further, FOCA will fund abortions with taxpayer money, and will force faith-based hospitals and physicians to participate in abortions.

Now, politically, this is obviously a hot-button issue. But most voters and everyday citizens try to stay out of the frey. Collectively, we tend to focus on other issues that seem more pressing, more urgent ... things like the failing economy and the war on terror. During the election, I heard countless times people say things like "I don't particularly like abortion, but I'm voting for someone that can fix our economy since it's most important right now". This is a very very common feeling among many Americans. Let me share with you two things I know to be true:

1. Morality matters MOST to God.

2. God can not *possibly* bless our country's economy or our national defense, when we so blatently spit in His face in the areas that matter most to Him. We slaughter our children, and we defile the holy union of marriage by allowing a man to marry another man, or a man to marry his goat, or whatever .... and then we sit back and wonder why God has not rescued us from the financial ruin we've created? Why he has not swept Al-Queda away in a massive hail of fire and brimstone? It is a biblical pricipal called bloodguilt: we have blood on our hands, the Lord can not ignore it, and He can not fully bless our nation until we repent and make our laws match more closely with His laws.


“O city that brings on herself doom by shedding blood in her midst … you have become guilty because of the blood you have shed … Therefore I will make you an object of scorn to the nations and a laughingstock to all the countries. Those who are near and those who are far away will mock you, O infamous city, full of turmoil” Ezekiel 22: 3-5

“Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush. So they will fall among the fallen; they will be brought down when I punish them, says the LORD” Jeremiah 5:15

“Should I not punish them for this? Declares the LORD. Should I not avenge myself on a such a nation as this?” Jeremiah 5: 9

“I will punish him and his children and his attendants for their wickedness; I will bring on them … every disaster I pronounced against them, because they have not listened”. Jeremiah 36: 31

“They shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters … and the land was desecrated by their blood … Therefore the LORD was angry with his people and abhorred his inheritance. He handed them over to the nations, and their foes ruled over them. Their enemies oppressed them and subjected them to their power.” Psalm 106:37-42

Each of us has a choice to make. We can get angry, get involved, and do something to fight this. Or we can close our eyes and sing a little bit louder. My hope for today is that more of us will chose to stop singing and take some kind of action.

Now, forgive my rant for today. I will step off my soapbox now. And don't worry, I won't let it happen again.

Watch us grow!

Throughout our journey I've been keeping a small pregnancy journal, called The Belly Book. Fellow Mommies, if you're looking for a once-a-week easy way to keep your pregnancy memories organized, this book is for you. It's way cuter and easier to manage than my last one, which was a daily journal .... and really who has time for that anyways?

James has been taking pictures of my expanding tummy each week to put in the Belly Book. And I'm forever trying to organize all my ultrasound pictures to include in the book as well. That's quite a task since I've had so many. Today I began weeding through them once again, trying to get them put in chronological order and documented in the journal. When you spend 23.5 hours a day in bed, you find all kinds of little projects to keep your mind occupied.

It wasn't until today that I realized I've had THIRTEEN ultrasounds in just 27 weeks of pregnancy. I think my record was ten ultrasounds with Isaac; clearly I will far exceed that this time around. That's crazy to me.

But having them all laid out here on my bed was eye-opening. It was neat for me to look at the progression of Jamin's growth (not to mention MY growth!) ... and I wanted to share a glimpse with all of you. I've chosen just one pic from each ultrasound, so you can see how much Jamin has changed in 27 weeks.

(1) 4w6d; we could see the gestational sac but not the embryo!



















(2) 6w0d; teeeny tiny grey embryo:



















(3) 8w2d:

















(4) 9w2d:



















(5) 13w0d; the day we found out it was a boy:




















(6) 15w6d:





















(7) 18w2d:
























(8) 20wod; with legs way up high:






















(9) 24w0d:
























(10) 25w0d; front view of the face:



























(11) 26w0d; left foot:























(12) 26w2d; right foot:





















(13) 27w2d; front of face again:

Here are a few pics showing how I have grown ...


6w0d:


























8w2d:
































13w0d:



































16w2d:

18w1d:

21w5d:





























24w4d:


























27w2d:

Bye Bye Bruises?

I'm almost afraid to say anything for fear that I will jinx it. But I will hold my breath and do it anyway .....

I think I might be done with the black-and-blue-tummy-look I've been sporting since August.

This is a super-big deal for me. And it's all thanks to this:

That's my new friend, Heparin. Now I'm no fan of medicine, and especially not the kind that requires needles. But this stuff .... ahhhh .... has been a nice change. For 27 weeks I have injected myself with Lovenox each night before bed. Lovenox is Heparin's less polite cousin. They essentially do the same thing - thin the blood - but Lovenox stays in your system for 24hours, while Heparin washes out after about 8-12. There are a few other differences too, but this is the main one. Doctors like lovenox because it's more stable in your system and requires less vigilent monitoring. Patients like lovenox because the syringes are pre-filled and only have to be injected once a day. The problem with lovenox is that you can't deliver a baby while taking it. There's a pesky little quandry of bleeding to death during delivery (generally not the desired outcome), and the fact that you can not have an epidural while it's in your system (which remember, is 24hours after you've taken your shot). So usually doctors will switch their pregnant lovenox users over to heparin around 36-38wks, in preparation for delivery. Heparin will be out of your system 8-12 hours after you inject, plus it's effects can be reversed with another medication (yep, another shot) once you get to the hospital if they see that labor is progressing quickly. Lovenox, on the other hand, can not be reversed. If you're on it when you go into labor you're kinda screwed.

Rather than waiting until week 36-38 to make the switch, my doctors have been planning all along to switch me around week 32, since I've never actually made it to week 36. But in light of last week's events, they have decided instead to switch me now at week 27. Technically I could deliver any day, though of course that's not the plan, but it's not worth the risk to stay on the Lovenox.

So, Wednesday I saw my hemotologist and OB. We ditched the Lovenox and welcomed Heparin into our home. I was less than excited about the switch, because originally my doctors were telling me I would have to inject Heparin THREE TIMES A DAY, yikes! I have been majorly struggling to manage once a day with Lovenox, so the thought of 3x's the needles made me want to cry. As my tummy grows and the skin gets tighter and tighter, it gets more and more difficult to inject. Each night gets more painful and takes longer to complete. So I was dreading the switch to 3 times a day.

Well, Wednesday I got two pleasant surprises: (1) My doc changed her mind and decided twice a day was enough; and (2) The needles are waaaaay smaller and way easier to inject! Because the syringes are not prefilled (instead you draw it up from the vial), you can pretty much use any size needle you want. My sweet pharmacist at Publix hooked me up with insulin needles, they are teeeeeny tiny and I can barely even feel them going in! So while I now have double the needles, the whole process is seriously half the trouble. Hardly any pain, and ...... dare I speculate ...... less bruising???????

Well it's only been two days so I don't know for sure yet about the bruising. But I'm hopeful that there will be an improvement. I will happily bid a fond farewell to my pitiful blue and purple sidekicks and welcome that nice smooth photogenic bump that I see in all my pregnancy magazines.

It may be premature to celebrate, since it's only been two days, but I'm doing it anyways. This morning I took what will hopefully be my last picture of lovenox bruises. They are a few days old now and finally starting to fade:




And just for giggles, since we're documenting it all, let's just compare this bulging image to it's predacessor. Here I am back in early September, after my first week of Lovenox:




Ahhhh, yes .... that was back when my belly button went IN instead of OUT. And there were some muscles in there somewhere. I almost don't remember what that feels like. *SIGH*

As for the rest of my week, here's the abbreviated update: My cervix is measuring about the same (praise the LORD!). My doc's are planning to increase the home care I'm receiving from Matria and sweet nurse, Sharon (the one with the 40-foot needles). There is some confusion, however, as to what exactly the doctor has ordered. One says an NST (non-stress test) and home monitoring each week, the other says a terbutaline pump. I'm praying it's only the former, because the thought of a terb pump has me shaking already. That stuff is horrendous ... I took it by pill every 4hours with Gracie, but now the new technology allows it to be attached to your hip with a needle under the skin, and it pumps out a continuous dose 24-hours a day sub-Q. I'm trying not to think about it until I know for sure what they've decided. It will be Monday before I hear back on that. Dr. Mann was initially saying NO on the terb pump because she's afraid it will make me lose more weight (nausea and vomiting are common on the pump, in addition to the tremors and shaking you normally get with the oral dose).

Apparently I've somehow managed to lose 4lbs since returning home from the hospital last week. I have no clue how. I've literally laid here in bed eating double-cheeseburgers. And my biggest form of exercise consists of wiggling my big toe. So go figure. I had been up 12lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight; but since losing 4 that now makes me +8 overall. So yesterday Dr. Mann had a mild hissy fit and told me that I have to start drinking Ensure three times a week. And then said she's afraid to order a terb pump because she doesn't want me to lose any more. Dr. Garcia, on the other hand, hasn't said a single word about my weight .... he's waaaaaay more laid back about that stuff.

Those of you who know me well know that food and I have always been great friends. Particularly the yummy fatty variety. So no worries ... I'm eating lots! Today, in fact, I had a large bacon-egg-and-cheese buscuit, a coke, and a piece of pound cake for breakfast. Maybe I should take a picture of myself eating all this junk to quiet down Dr. Mann?

Let's see, what else? We've rented a wheelchair to make my trips to the doctor a little easier. I asked Dr. Mann yesterday if I could go to church Sunday if I take the wheelchair and promise not to stand up .... she said absolutely not! I'm very bummed about that but I will try again next week! I haven't been to church since Jan 4 and it's killing me.

I was at the doctor three times this week. I have three doc's and they each want to see me once a week. It's kind of tough getting out to Northside and Piedmont in my condition, I have to have someone drive me now ... we're trying to make arrangements so that I will have less visits each week. Although for me the doctor's visits help my sanity because it's the only time I'm allowed out of bed and it's nice to have a reason to wash my hair every now and then. Wednesday was a big day for me because I got to put on makeup *AND* get this ..... I even shaved my legs! I know, wow, right?

Other than that, I'm only getting out of bed to pee. It's a very boring existance. However I can't really complain because we have been so blessed all week with just an outpouring of offers for help. It is absolutely overwhelming. We've had tons of meals brought to us this week, and had a few friends drop by to have a "picnic" in my bed to help me pass the time. My parents came this week and painted Jamin's room for me - a huge undertaking! We've had others offer to come take Gracie for a playdate which has been super helpful. And ... best of all .... we've found Brandi.

Brandi is the new lady of the house. She comes each morning when James leaves for work, gets Gracie up and dressed, feeds her breakfast, and takes her to school or ballet, etc. She runs all my errands for me, brings all my meals and medications to my bed, and serves as a constant companion and play-toy for Gracie. I can't even begin to tell you what a relief it is to have her here. I will blog more about that next week.

So for now I'm trying to relax a little (nearly impossible task since my brain is still functioning) .... and I'm counting each day passed as a small victory. Today I am 27weeks 3days, thank you Jesus! I've got my eyes firmly fixed on week 28 .... that will be a huge milestone to pass and there will be much celebration next week when we get there.

A most heartfelt and profound THANK YOU to all of my sweet family and friends for the flood of generous assistance this week. I don't even have the words to adequately express our gratitude. We are overwhelmed by your kindness and love day after day and we are forever grateful.