Team BLUE!

Holy crap we're having a BOY!!! We found out yesterday during my first trimester screening. I was shocked that we were able to see "it" so clearly, I was only 13w0d!

But alas, there on the screen we saw the unmistakable "toilet shot", and the ultrasound tech announced quite confidently that we are indeed having another son.

I'm feeling a little shocked, and if I'm being honest - a wee bit sad. I've been hoping for another girl, mostly because I have such a close relationship with my own sister and I wanted that experience for Gracie. And also for selfish reasons - I feel like emotionally this will be much harder for me to handle since it's a boy. I worry that I will forever be comparing him to Isaac ... the way he looks, the way he talks, the way he runs, the way he laughs ... wondering if that's the way Isaac would have been. I was hoping it would be a girl in part so I wouldn't have to deal with some of those emotional complexities.

BUT .... once again God's plan is His own and I am getting on board. It will be an adventure shopping for blue for a change! I've already started peeking at cute little blue nursery decor online - though I don't have the guts to actually purchase a single thing!

With the gender discovery, of course, has come the inevitable battle over the perfect name. And once again, James and I can't agree on a single thing! We always have the hardest time with this! James is set on the name Cash, in honor of his pseudo-hero Johnny Cash. I think the name is cute ...... FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S KID. But not for mine. Can't explain it really other than to say it's just kinda weird. Gracie loves the name because it makes her giggle, so last night the two of them were double-teaming me, begging "puleeeeeeze let us name the baby Cash!". I told James no, I don't like it, the name is weird, and not to mention -- what in the world could we possibly use for a middle name since it's so strange, I mean what goes with Cash? Gracie came rushing in from the other room shouting, "REGISTER!!!!". So apparently at this point my child's name will be Cash Register Wren. Fantastic.

In other news .... my latest hematology tests have me breathing into a paper bag. Went to the hematologist last week, though for some reason I got stuck with the nurse practitioner rather than the doctor. Won't be making that mistake again -- she was completely clueless. But my Protein S numbers have plummeted dramatically, hence the bag-breathing. Recall that I have an inherited heterozygous Type III Protein S Deficiency. Sometimes it's referred to as Type IIb rather than Type III. In a nutshell, there are three types of Protein S measurements: "total", which measures the actual amount of protein in your blood, "free", which measures only the amount of protein that isn't already bound to other blood components, and "functional", which measures how well the protein is actually working (irrespective of the amount present). My disorder, Type III, is a functional deficiency, which means my free and total #s are both normal but my functional #s are abnormal. For instance, my functional levels have hovered around the upper-40's to low-50's over the last two years (normal is considered 60-120), while my free and total numbers have always stayed in the normal range.

At this office visit, Nurse Know-Nothing reports to me that my functional #s are down to 24. (I have honestly never even *heard* of numbers this low before.) And to top if off, she tells me I now have a free deficiency as well - down from the normal range to just 27. When I asked her if this will cause a major problem, she shrugs and says "I'm not really sure, but as long as you keep taking your lovenox then I think you should be okay". Well that's super reassuring. Convinced I'm going to drop dead from a pulmonary embolism as soon as I get in my car to drive home, I asked her if it's possible that pregnancy would artificially drop my numbers so dramatically, at which point she tells me - again - she's not sure but I could google it if I wanted. Yes, that's right, that was the advice given to me from the licensed Nurse-Practitioner at the hematologist's office, the folks who are supposed to be knowledgeable specialists in blood disorders. I was furious ... I take time off of my day, arrange childcare for Gracie, sit in your waiting room for an hour and a half, pay my $40 copay, and you want me to GOOGLE IT?!?!?

Needless to say, I'm looking for a new hematologist.