Divine Design

I am happy to finally report that the Room of Heartbreak no longer exists. It has been transformed into the sweet baby blue nursery that it was supposed to be in 2006.

The sadness and disappointment that used to flood me every time I looked in that room is now replaced with nervous excitement. And the best part: we keep the door OPEN.

Here are a few before-and-after pics so you can get a feel for the transformation. I wish I had taken some pictures of the room before I cleaned it out .... back when there were boxes stacked 4 feet high and 8 feet deep .... so you could fully grasp how far we've come. Oh well .... I probably would be embarrased to share them if I did have photographic evidence of how horrific it was!

View from the doorway:

Dresser/Changing Table:

Snuggle Corner:

A few of my favorite details:

The other night I sat in this blue chair for about an hour after everyone was asleep and our house was quiet. I felt eager to meet Jamin and I thought about how many long hours I have ahead of me, God willing, feeding and rocking him in that chair. But even in that moment of excitement and expectancy, my mind trailed off to missing Isaac. I couldn't help but think how drastically different life would be if he had lived. It's a surreal battle of emotions, knowing that I would do anything to have him here, and yet knowing with equal certainty that if he were here Jamin would probably not exist. It's hard to explain.

I do feel a big weight lifted now that the room is finally finished. Well ......... 99% finished. I waited so long to get started on it, so it turned out to be a huge project crammed into a small amount of time. Many thanks to my husband for the hours of sanding and painting, my sister for helping to hang the curtains and pictures, and my parents of painting the "blue primer" and for their good sense of humor.