Today was my first full day back home. I am so thrilled to be back with my family again! James has spent the day waiting on me hand and foot, delivering all my meals and medicines to me in bed. He has bathed, fed, and entertained Gracie, done two loads of laundry, and I even heard the vacuum cleaner turn on this morning ... though I haven't made it downstairs to investigate yet.
I have spent the day laying. And thinking. And laying. And thinking. It's taken me a while to really wrap my brain around this whole situation. I am praying that we're in this for the long haul ... (10 weeks or longer would be ideal!) ... but at the same time find myself overwhelmed every time I think of all that will be required to keep our household in tact during that time.
Earlier this evening James took Gracie to the Glass Slipper Ball. I had purchased these tickets many weeks ago and was so excited. I had intended it to be one last special Mommy/Daughter adventure for Gracie and I to share before her new sibling arrived ... something girly for just the two of us that we would look back on years later and cherish the memory. But once again, God's plan has trumped mine, and James gets to be the only guest with a Y chromosome attending the Glass Slipper Ball.
So tonight as I dressed Gracie in her fancy Cinderella ballgown, curled her hair, and listened to her fantasize about scoring a dance with Prince Charming, the sadness flooded me. I kept up my happy face and excited demeanor for Gracie's benefit, since she was just so thrilled to be going, but inside I was crushed to be missing such an important Mommy moment. As they left I snapped a picture of the two of them all dressed up, passed out kisses and sent them on their way. Then I collapsed in a heap of tears before they were even out of the driveway. If there's anything I'm good at, it's wallowing in self-pity. I sat here for a few minutes feeling sorry for myself and wondering how many more moments I would miss over the coming weeks.
A few minutes into my pity-party, I got a phone call from my dear friend Katie, saying she was coming by to drop off a little something. Five minutes later she was on my doorstep with a basket of goodies and a surprise gift to entertain Gracie. Her thoughtfulness totally turned my night around and forced my brain to focus on bigger things -- like how fully the Lord is blessing our family during a difficult time. We have truly been overwhelmed by many sweet offers of help from friends and family since we returned. I am so humbled and so grateful for everyone's willingness to lend a hand. In all honesty it is quite difficult for me to let go of my control-freakish ways and accept favors from others. But God is teaching me that I have to ditch my pride and humble myself in order to allow His plan to take shape.
So I've abruptly ended my pathetic moaning, and now I'm thinking about how Jesus spent much of His life on earth teaching us repeated lessons about how to love and serve one another ... how to take care of our neighbors and wash eachother's feet. Before this week I thought that I fully understood it all but obviously I didn't. Now I'm starting to get it. I'm experiencing it firsthand. And I'm overwhelmed to say the least.
There are times in life when a fresh dose of perspective is in order. Mine was just delivered to my door in a gift basket. Right now the Lord is providing all that we need. And there will be another Glass Slipper Ball next year.
ps ... Thank you Katie for your perfect timing! :)
I have spent the day laying. And thinking. And laying. And thinking. It's taken me a while to really wrap my brain around this whole situation. I am praying that we're in this for the long haul ... (10 weeks or longer would be ideal!) ... but at the same time find myself overwhelmed every time I think of all that will be required to keep our household in tact during that time.
Earlier this evening James took Gracie to the Glass Slipper Ball. I had purchased these tickets many weeks ago and was so excited. I had intended it to be one last special Mommy/Daughter adventure for Gracie and I to share before her new sibling arrived ... something girly for just the two of us that we would look back on years later and cherish the memory. But once again, God's plan has trumped mine, and James gets to be the only guest with a Y chromosome attending the Glass Slipper Ball.
So tonight as I dressed Gracie in her fancy Cinderella ballgown, curled her hair, and listened to her fantasize about scoring a dance with Prince Charming, the sadness flooded me. I kept up my happy face and excited demeanor for Gracie's benefit, since she was just so thrilled to be going, but inside I was crushed to be missing such an important Mommy moment. As they left I snapped a picture of the two of them all dressed up, passed out kisses and sent them on their way. Then I collapsed in a heap of tears before they were even out of the driveway. If there's anything I'm good at, it's wallowing in self-pity. I sat here for a few minutes feeling sorry for myself and wondering how many more moments I would miss over the coming weeks.
A few minutes into my pity-party, I got a phone call from my dear friend Katie, saying she was coming by to drop off a little something. Five minutes later she was on my doorstep with a basket of goodies and a surprise gift to entertain Gracie. Her thoughtfulness totally turned my night around and forced my brain to focus on bigger things -- like how fully the Lord is blessing our family during a difficult time. We have truly been overwhelmed by many sweet offers of help from friends and family since we returned. I am so humbled and so grateful for everyone's willingness to lend a hand. In all honesty it is quite difficult for me to let go of my control-freakish ways and accept favors from others. But God is teaching me that I have to ditch my pride and humble myself in order to allow His plan to take shape.
So I've abruptly ended my pathetic moaning, and now I'm thinking about how Jesus spent much of His life on earth teaching us repeated lessons about how to love and serve one another ... how to take care of our neighbors and wash eachother's feet. Before this week I thought that I fully understood it all but obviously I didn't. Now I'm starting to get it. I'm experiencing it firsthand. And I'm overwhelmed to say the least.
There are times in life when a fresh dose of perspective is in order. Mine was just delivered to my door in a gift basket. Right now the Lord is providing all that we need. And there will be another Glass Slipper Ball next year.
ps ... Thank you Katie for your perfect timing! :)
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